Small Churches are Ripe for Revival

By Doug Beutler

I was being interviewed on a podcast a couple weeks ago about small churches and the host asked me why I am so excited about small churches.  I told her that the reason I am so excited about small churches is because I believe they are Ripe for Revival.  She then asked the most important question, “Why are small churches Ripe for Revival?”. 

Here is why I believe small churches are Ripe for Revival.

1)    Small Churches are positioned for change 

Most small churches have a limited number of programs or they don’t have any programs at all.  Unlike larger churches that have many programs that demand a large workforce small churches are lucky to have 1 program.  Discussions can be easier to have in smaller churches because there is less politics, deeper relationships, and fewer people to convince.  People only have a limited amount of time to donate to the church.  Churches need to prioritize how to best use that time.  We are learning in the church that relationships are more important than programs.

I will never forget when one of the people attending our church came to me very frustrated.  I asked them what was wrong.  They said they didn’t have enough time to make disciples.  They then described for me all the “things” that they were involved in with the church.  Women’s ministry, outreach ministry, drama ministry, children’s ministry, and worship ministry.  Where did they have time to build relationships and make disciples?  After some discussions she decided it was more important for her to make disciples then lead a special event for the church.  So we stopped doing that special event because there was no one else who had a passion or time for it. These are the tough decisions that churches need to make if they want to have a disciple-making movement in their churches.

2)    Survival in a small church is a real thing

Financial pressure, finding and keeping a pastor, and having people continue attending your small church are realities that a small church faces every week.  Losing a family or 2 in a large church may not even be noticed but for a small church, it can be devastating.  Because of this pressure, it forces small churches to be open to change in ways larger churches may not be.  It creates situations where small churches may now accept what in previous years they would have never considered accepting.  Like changing the color of the carpet, changing music styles or having music at all, or using technology in the worship services.

I remember when LifeWater merged with a struggling small church in 2009.  I was surprised by the tone of the discussions between the two groups.  The church that was struggling wanted to merge with us because they had lost hope that they could survive and they desperately wanted to continue being a light in the community.  They were willing to adopt our church name, accept our doctrine and denomination, allow us to put screens on the walls to project words for our worship songs, and accept our contemporary style of worship.  All these changes I would guess they were unwilling to accept before but were willing now because they knew they had to change or die.

3)    Small Churches have a trained pastor available.  

I went to an invite-only Catalytic Church Planting Gathering in Houston Texas this last fall.  There were 10 or 12 churches there that had been chosen to come and talk about church multiplication in a new culture.  We spent lots of time talking about the difficulty finding qualified church planters, the limited amount of money available for church planting, and the restrictions in training church planters.  We were there for 2 days and worked about 10 hours a day on these questions.  We did a great job identifying the issues but not a lot of solutions.

One of the great things about small churches is that most of them already have a pastor.  These pastors love their people and their community.  They already have relationships built and have earned trust in the community.  They have taken classes at a Bible College or Seminary and have a good foundation about what they believe.  They have sound doctrine and if the church is part of a denomination the pastor has had to go through their credentialing process.  These pastors are aware of discipleship and most of them have a desire to improve in their disciple-making abilities.  There are fewer worries about false teaching, inappropriate behavior, and misleading people in a small church structure compared to other multiplication structures.  Desperate recruiting is not necessary and the pressure to “find someone” is lessened. 

4)    It does not cost money are require a minimum number of people to make disciples.  

One of the great things about small churches is that beginning a disciple-making movement in small churches that lead to revival doesn’t cost money.  You don’t need expensive resource materials, you don’t need a band, you don’t need an expensive sound system, you don’t need an elaborate marketing plan, you don’t need critical mass, you did need a vast variety of programs, and you don’t need multiple staff to run all those programs.  The only thing you need is a pastor who has a passion for Jesus, for his people, believes in the scriptures, and a desire to make disciples.  They start with one person who is open to growing in their faith and they meet with them weekly.  They experience life with them, walk with them in faith for the long run, and then they ask them to invite a friend to join them.  That is how revival and multiplication begin in a small church.

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 There are many small churches in America that are ready for this change. They are ready to impact their communities for Christ. They are positioned for change, they are motivated by survival, they already have a pastor and people in place, and it doesn’t cost any money or require a minimum number of people. Small churches are Rip for Revival! If you are a small church pastor please prayerfully consider what your next step could be in starting a disciple-making movement in your small church. If you go to a small church talk to your pastor and see what your next step could be in creating a disciple-making movement in your small church. If you need help reach out to us here at Seeds of Change. https://www.lifewatercc.org/seeds-of-change

Does God Still Call People Today

By Doug Beutler

During COVID-19 I heard a lot of pastors ask this question, “Does God still Call People to Ministry”.  Times were tough and they still are for many in the church.  Many pastors have given up on the ministry, given up on their call, and given up on the church.  What we need to remember is that our calling from God is what helps us to survive the hard times.  I know I need to remind myself of this constantly.

The Apostle Paul remembered His calling when he faced so many challenges as he traveled the world to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.  “While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.’  So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off.” (Acts 13:2-3 NIV)  That memory must have flashed through Paul’s mind hundreds, if not thousands, of times whether he was in a synagogue, in jail, or in the marketplace.

I still remember vividly in 1980 at First Missionary Church Pastor Mark Klinepeter asked people to come forward if they felt the “Call” on their lives to go into full-time ministry.  My fiancé at the time, who later became my wife, walked to the front of the church with me to give our lives to God and to go wherever He called us to go.  Looking back it has been quite a road with stops in Van Wert, Ohio, Goshen, Indiana, and Ft. Wayne, Indiana.  I have served in YFC, Lifeline Youth and Family Services, and the church.  I have had the privilege of ministering in Campus Life clubs and youth groups of 100’s, churches in the 1,000’s, and now for the past 27 years pastoring in churches under 100.

There are 3 things I have learned about a calling from God:

1)     The Location can be different but the calling is the same! 

God has called people to serve Him.  He has called pastors to lead their flocks.  Sometimes it’s in our hometowns and sometimes it’s in places we have never heard of.  Sometimes it’s in a living room of 20 or a large auditorium of thousands.  God leads us to places that He wants us to be.  The details are different but the call is the same.  I remember moving to Van Wert, Ohio a real small town to serve as a Campus Life Director.  It was my first ministry job.  It was a great learning time, ministry time, and God moved in that area.  After a few years I felt the tug on my heart that God had something else for me.  So I moved my family to Goshen, Indiana to serve as a Campus Life Director there.  The club I was assigned to was a small group and when I arrived they were struggling with their past director being gone.  I sat down with the kids and told them about what I wanted to see happen with the club.  I called them to help me impact their school for Christ.  They were extremely excited and went out and impacted their school the next few years I was there.  I have been called to serve God in ministry and I have experienced that call in various locations and contexts. I have learned that the context can be different, the location can be different, but my calling has always been the same.  This is what keeps me going through the difficult times.

2)     Faithfulness to God is the key to fulfilling His calling! 

There have been times when everything I tried went wrong and there have been times when everything I touched went right.  I have experienced people knowing my name and wanting my advice and I have experienced no one knowing who I am or cared about my advice.  All that activity is just outside noise.  I have tried to be faithful to what God has called me to regardless of what is being said or not said.  No matter what is happening in my life and ministry, whether it is good or bad, I need to be faithful to God first.  This focus has been the key for me.  I remember a season of ministry where everything was going wrong. Everything I tried failed. I lost my confidence and people in my church were losing confidence in me. People were asking me, “What are you doing wrong?”  The answer…”NOTHING”.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong. God was teaching me a very important lesson. He was teaching me to be consistent in loving people and being faithful to God.  I have learned that the outcomes of ministry are up to God, they are out of my control.  My job is to remain faithful to what God has called me to.

3)     God is always on the move so keep up with where he is going! 

A couple of years ago I thought that my ministry may be coming to a close.  I was in my early 60’s and as I looked to the end of my ministry I was happy with what God had done through me.  But I remember clearly last year that I felt God was saying to me, “I am not done with you yet.  Retirement is not an option for you right now.”  I was surprised.  I was like “God what do you want me to do next”.  I felt like He was saying to me, “Be patient and I will show you.”  In the spring of 2024 my wife and I had a very unique spiritual experience where we both felt the leading of the Holy Spirit to minister to small churches and their pastors while remaining at LifeWater.  That led us to start Seeds of Change and gave us eyes to see the amazing disciple making that had been happening in our church.  We began to see the impact that our church was having in our community.  We began to see the impact that our church was having in making disciples.  We began to see the multiplication in disciple-making to the 3rd and 4th generation that was taking place.  We began to see the relationships that our people were making with people in and outside of our church.  It was like God was saying “I am moving this way…Keep up!!”

I am excited about what God is doing in my life, in my family, and in my church.  I am excited about where God is going and I desperately want to stay up with Him.  Pastor, Youth Pastor, Children’s Pastor, Church Planter, leader, volunteer, you can have this same excitement and connection with God.  Is God calling you to ministry?  Is God calling you to be a pastor?  Is God calling you to Go Make Disciples? 

We had our church leadership retreat recently and in this retreat I had our leaders go and spend some time in prayer for what God was calling us to do.  One of our young leaders later told me, “I heard one word: ‘Go!’”  God is calling this young man to go.  I don’t know where that going will lead and neither does he.  I don’t know when that going will take place and neither does he.  I don’t know what going means and neither does he.  But what this young man needs to remember is that God knows.  Let me encourage you to remember the location can be different but the calling is the same, faithfulness to God is the key to fulfilling His calling in your life, and God is always on the move so keep up with where he is going.

When Momentum Hurts

When Momentum Hurts

Pastor Doug Beutler

I remember going to a conference and hearing a speaker say, “Momentum makes you look better than you are and the lack of momentum makes you look worse than you are.”  Most of my ministry life I have been taught that momentum is a good thing.  You need it to grow.  You need it to convince people what you are doing is right.  You can’t go anywhere without momentum.  Recently I have been thinking about what happens if momentum hurts you?  Is that even possible?  Even writing that sentence makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.  It goes against everything that I have been taught but I now believe is true.

Momentum is defined as the quality that keeps an event developing or making progress after it has started.  So many times the church uses the word “momentum” for vision, numeric growth, and greatness.  I have experienced momentum many times but I have rarely heard the term related to disciple making.  I usually hear it used in relation to attendance, number of services, or satellite campuses.  I have learned the hard way over the 27 years of pastoring a church under 100 people that momentum hurts the small church.  There are 3 reasons:

1.      Momentum is seductive. 

I remember when I was a youth pastor of a large church in the 1980’s.  When I started as their youth pastor the youth group was about 50 kids.  The church was over 1,000 people.  As I started sharing with the kids my vision for the youth group they got really excited.  I started seeing some good leadership in the youth and I started to give them responsibility.  The group grew to over 100 in the first year.  By year 3 we were averaging 150 kids and our outreach events were over 400 kids.  It was an exciting time.  It was more than that.  It was seductive.  People were calling me from all over the country asking me what I was doing.  I was asked to serve on many district and denominational committees in my denomination as a result.  Looking back I can see how it fed my evil inner self.  It was addictive that feeling of superiority.  I was now an expert.  Everyone knew me or wanted to know me.  People almost worshiped the words that I spoke.

That is what momentum can do.  It puts you in a place where you take credit for what is happening.  You take the glory and give little or no glory to God.  You find yourself saying things like, “I did this…” or “I made this decision” or “I made this happen”.  Jesus had something to say about this in Matthew 22:37 when He said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind…”  When we place anything above our relationship with Jesus that is Idolatry.  It is no wonder that so many pastors fall because they start believing what is being written about them.

2.      Momentum is distractive.

I remember after I came on full time at LifeWater after being their bi-vocational pastor for 9 years we saw our church begin to gain some momentum in our attendance.  We started seeing our average attendance grow over 100 people.  We started feeling good about our church and we started asking the question, “What is next?”  We had our leadership retreat shortly after I came on full time.  Our big question was “What does God want us to do next?”  We wrestled through the pluses and minuses of being an attractional model church and being a disciple making church.  We felt the Lord speak very clearly that we were to be a disciple making church.  So out of that retreat we formed LifeGroups, the church started discussing the sermons, we developed curriculum for these LifeGroups, we started preaching about disciple making, and we had testimonies for those who were beginning to experience disciple making.  For the next several years we started gain traction in disciple making.  We helped start a new church plant and we started having discussions about future plants.

During these 5-6 years there were 2 to 3 different times when we started seeing real momentum in growing numerically.  Every time we started averaging over 100 people we would start talking about our parking lot, space in the sanctuary, and the need for 2 services.  As we started talking about those things more we talked less and less about disciple making.  I remember one particular leadership retreat where we spent the majority of the time talking about moving to 2 services and what that would take.  We worked on the details of what that would look like.  We talked about how the people would have to adjust.  We didn’t discuss disciple making once at that retreat and I went home confused.  “What had we just done?”  We were so distracted.  Paul said in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”  I fell right into Satan’s trap.  I confessed that to God and 6 months later there was no more need for 2 services because people had moved away or passed away.

3.      Momentum is destructive.

You may be thinking, “How can momentum be destructive?”  It can destroy relationships, God’s call on our lives, and proper priorities.  What if God has called us to a small disciple making ministry?  What if God has called us to focus on individuals and not the masses?  What if God has called us right where we are right now?  Momentum, or the lack of, can cause us to doubt our call with a sense of disappointment with our present circumstances.  Momentum creates a drive in our hearts that makes us not satisfied with where God has us.  We keep pushing for more, bigger, bolder, better and are not content with where God has called us to.  It reminds me after B.J. Thomas became a Christian I watched an interview with him and he made this statement, “All I need is one more hit song”.  I still remember how odd that comment was because he had found a relationship with Jesus but it didn’t seem like it was enough. 

I remember one time a good friend of mine, Bill Armstrong, who was a church planter planting in California told me a story.  He said that when he had moved out to California before he planted his church he spent about 6 months building relationships with people.  He got to know this one person, I’ll call him Tim, and he spent a lot of time with him.  He had won Tim to Christ and Bill was discipling him.   After 6 months it was time to plant his church and so he started preparing the teams to launch his church plant.  He became very busy trying to get everything organized and didn’t have as much time to spend with Tim.  About 3 months after Bill successfully planted his church Tim came to him to tell him that he was going to go to another church.  He missed the time he spent with Bill and he felt like Bill was too busy to have a relationship with him.  He told Bill, “I wish you would have never started this church!”  That always bothered Bill because the desire for that momentum forever hurt his relationship with Tim.

Creating a disciple making movement in our churches does not require momentum.  You don’t need a minimum amount of people, a band, fog, lights, a dynamic series, many programs, an amazing communicator, or a spectacular children and youth programs to create momentum.  We only need to love people, spend intentional time, and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.  When we try to substitute these precious gifts from God with momentum is when momentum hurts.

The Cliff

The Cliff

Transitioning Conversations to Spiritual Conversations

Pastor Doug Beutler

When I first went into the ministry with Youth for Christ I went to Michigan for a training.  At that training they took us on a high ropes course.  We climbed this tower and got connected to a harness and a rope and told to “jump”.  As I was standing on the edge of that tower, 75 feet in the air, I was terrified.  They kept encouraging me to step off the platform but I was so scared.  Finally, I said to myself, “I can do this!” and so I stepped off.  It was invigorating as I went down the rope on a pulley to the other side of the ravine.  When I got unhooked I was surprised by my reaction…I was ready to go again.

When transitioning normal every day conversations into spiritual conversations I think it is a little like my experience at the high ropes course, “Jumping off the cliff”.  We are so fearful of what is going to happen next if we bring up Jesus, or church, or Christians.  Many times we just avoid the whole thing.  We walk away from opportunity after opportunity to start a spiritual conversation because of this fear.  Guilt and shame follow quickly and we avoid the whole topic completely.

Jesus was a master at turning a normal conversation into a spiritual conversation.  A great example of this was when Jesus called His first disciples in John 1.  I think we see 3 steps that Jesus took to transition a conversation into a spiritual conversation.

Step 1 is Jesus drew them in by showing them what they wanted to know. John 1:38b-39

These two disciples were following Jesus and He turns to them and asks them, “What do you seek?”  They respond by asking Jesus where He was staying.  Did they really want to know where Jesus was staying?  Probably not but they wanted to break the ice.  Jesus says, “Come and See”.   So what did these three talk about for several hours?  It doesn’t say but if we dig deep into the scriptures we will see some hints.  In verse 39 it says, “So they went and saw where he was staying…”  I think Jesus began by talking to them about where He was staying.  Jesus started with what they were curious about.

Today, this is a perfect example of how we begin conversations with people we are trying to reach.  We start with where they are.  What are they interested in?  Sports and music are somewhat safe – politics and government are not.  What is their background?  Where do they work?  How long have they worked there?  Are they married?  Do they have a Family?  What do they like the most about their house they live in?  Do they own or rent? Do we know the answers to these questions about our neighbors, people we work next to, friends at school, or people who we meet while you are working out? 

I met with a pastor the other day and I talked to him about this very thing. When I went through the list he stopped me and said, “Stop there.  I feel terrible!!”  I asked, “Why”.  He said, “Because I don’t know any of these answers about my neighbors.”  “No shame here,” I responded, “but that is where you need to begin.”  I would say this to you also.  Do you know the people around you?

Step 2 is Jesus discussed with them John's comment.  John 1:36-37 

Even though there is nothing mentioned about their discussion it does say that “They spent the day with Him”.  I think we might be able to make a logical step here.  The reason they started following Jesus was because of something John the Baptist had said.  In verse 35 John the Baptist said this while Jesus passed by, “Look the Lamb of God!” I think that is where Jesus went next.  John the Baptist the day before made this same statement in verse 29.  John gives testimony to this as a witness that Jesus was the Son of God…the Messiah.  Jesus uses their curiosity to transition the conversation to spiritual things. They want to know why John the Baptist said this.  The door was wide open for Jesus to speak spiritual truth to them.  I believe Jesus answered their questions.  I believe Jesus explained why John the Baptist’s words were true.

Turning a conversation into a spiritual conversation is the hardest and most difficult transition in having a spiritual conversation. This is when Jesus becomes part of the conversation.  One of the easiest ways to transition the conversation to spiritual things is to include them in your everyday life. Tell them you are going to a LifeGroup, Sunday Worship Service, or a Church event and then let them ask questions as you let their curiosity lead them.  My wife is a master at this.  She is not pushy. She doesn’t have the spiritual gift of evangelism but she loves kids and what do mom’s love to talk about…their kids.  She can talk for hours about kids. I have watched her disarm the most hostile person.  We had a neighbor once that was not walking with Jesus.  She swore like a sailor.  She had 2 little kids and she had lots of questions about raising them.  She came from a dysfunctional childhood and they would sit out in the back yard talking about their kids as they played together.  She found out that Kim was a pastor’s wife.  That didn’t scare her away.  The Holy Spirit was moving.  One day she ran over to our house and said, “I need to talk to your wife now!”  I told her that Kim would be right back.  When Kim got home she went across the street.  Their pet fish had died and she didn’t know how to talk to her kids about death.  Kim explained about death and life.  Then Kim transitioned the conversation to spiritual things when she started talking about humans and where we go.  Our neighbor starting asking all kinds of questions and Kim patiently answered all her religious questions. This hard non-Christian was having multiple spiritual conversations with Kim.

Step 3 is Jesus delivered the "why".  John 1:40-41

I want you to notice what happens in verse 41.  The first thing Andrew does was go find his brother Simon.  Listen to what he told him.  “We have found the Messiah”.  Andrew believed.  He trusted John the Baptist’s testimony about Jesus.  He believed Jesus’ explanation.  He didn’t understand everything but he understood enough to believe that Jesus was the Messiah.  This was all God.  The Holy Spirit was opening up Andrew and John’s minds.  The darkness was gone in their souls.  They could see the light.  They were convinced not because of Jesus’ arguments but because of the supernatural thing that was happening.       

Today the Holy Spirit is still moving in people.  We don’t have to worry about if we can argue effectively.  We don’t have to worry about if we have all the answers.  We don’t to have to worry about if we know the bible well enough.  It is not about those things.  It is about the Holy Spirit moving through us.  That is why it is so important that we are maturing and growing in our faith.  That is why I am getting so upset about what is being said about the church.  I think leaders are taking the Holy Spirit and His ability to move out of all their conclusions.  Since we can’t put on a show like the world why do it?  What about how the Holy Spirit moves through God’s people worshiping?  Since most pastors are not eloquent in speaking why have a sermon?  But what about the Holy Spirit that drives those points home to the listener?  I would challenge these leaders that maybe the reason people are leaving the church today is not because we are trying to compete with the world and failing, or our quality is not competitive, or our sermons are so inferior.  But maybe the reason people are leaving the church is that we are not allowing the Holy Spirit to move because of our sin of selfishness, pride, and obsession within our pursuit of innovation and earthly success. 

Getting back to our neighbor and my wife.  Kim had these conversations with our neighbor for months.  Halloween came and went.  Thanksgiving came and went.  Then Christmas comes and Kim invites her to our Christmas Eve service.  She came with her family.  That service I presented the plan of salvation and our neighbor accepted Jesus that night along with her children.  Kim continued to meet with her and disciple her until she moved away several years later. 

This is a reminder that the Holy Spirit can do the impossible and it doesn’t have to depend on me, my ability, my style, or my polished presentation.  Jesus can do anything He wants to do we just need to be available and willing to follow Him completely.  He will open up the conversations and lead us into spiritual conversations.

Wanted Dead or Alive

Wanted Dead or Alive: Building Healthy Disciple Making Relationships

Pastor Doug Beutler

John Bon Jovi recorded a song that was released in 1996 called Wanted Dead or Alive. It describes the unhealthy relationship that a rock star has with his fans. The love-hate difficulties, the pressure to produce, and the fickleness of fans. Pastors, disciple-makers, and people who deal with people can relate to this song. Not that we are stars but the difficulty in dealing with people has driven many away from making disciples. As one pastor put it, “If it wasn’t for people I would love my job.”

The goal of disciple-makers is not to build unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships lead to co-dependency, jealousy, and immaturity. Healthy relationships are characterized by unconditional love, patience, commitment, and honesty. So how can pastors and people build healthy disciple-making relationships? I think we need to look to Jesus and see how He built healthy disciple-making relationships.

 I think there are 4 things that Jesus did in building healthy disciple-making relationships:

 1)     He took time to be in public.

 We see a very interesting picture in John 1 when John the Baptist says, “Look the lamb of God!” (John 1:36) Then the apostle John records in that same verse that this happened while Jesus was passing by. What was Jesus doing? Where was He going? What was He trying to accomplish? I think Jesus’ goal was to be with people. Jesus didn’t hide in His office and wait for people to come to Him. He went out and was with people. He was just passing by having conversations with people who were willing to talk with Him.   

I am always amazed when I hear pastors who never leave their office. Either they are studying or they are meeting people in their office. I don’t want to downplay the value of studying for Sunday sermons but we know that in today’s culture, people generally would rather sit and have a coffee conversation than listen to us stand on a stage and speak to them.

https://www.ncconversations.com/single-post/2019/02/20/how-not-to-preach-to-millennials-part-one

 It is important to be out there with the people if we are going to be disciple-makers. I know how hard it is to work all day then come home and just want to stay home and “veg”. But if we want to make disciples then we need to be out with people. We do this within our situations. If we are single we can go any time, if we are married we coordinate with our spouse’s schedule so they can go, if we have a family we take them with us so our children can learn how to make disciples.

 I had a person walk up to me recently at church and say that they had “one of those moments that you talk about”. I said, “What happened?” They said that they went into a Meijer’s store and were greeted by the greeter. The person from my church asked, “How are you doing?” and the greeter said, “Not good”. The person from my church meant to respond, “I will pray for you” but instead they said, “Can I pray for you right now?” It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit works. The greeter said, “Yes”. So the person from my church prayed for them right there and they said, “It was awesome.”

 2)     He noticed people around Him.

 After John the Baptist said, “Look the lamb of God” two disciples started following Jesus. These disciples were curious. Was this the Lamb of God? Was He the Messiah? They had so many questions. So they followed Jesus hoping to get a chance to talk to Him. What is amazing is what happens next. Jesus notices them. He notices them following Him.

 I am amazed at how many people out there today who want to be noticed. Someone to say, “I see you”. We live in a fast-paced culture that can be very uncaring. It can make people feel like they are insignificant and unnoticed. I think it is ironic that we live in a culture where there are more opportunities to interact with people worldwide through social media than ever but we are also one of the most lonely cultures.

https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america-2024

 We forget how powerful it is to notice people. To acknowledge that they are there. To reach out with a smile. I remember walking by a person in the store and I smiled at them and I saw their eyes light up as they smiled back. Take a look around at the people you pass every day. Are they ok? Are they discouraged, sad, or depressed? Take a moment to pray for them and smile as you walk by.

 3) He interacted with people by asking questions.

 Not only did Jesus notice the 2 disciples but he took the next step and interacted with them. The way Jesus interacted with them was He asked them a question. He asks, “What do you want?” Does Jesus not know? Of course, He does. He can see their hearts. They are seeking something…someone. So Jesus engaged them in a conversation by asking a question that was not closed-ended. He doesn’t ask them, “Do you want something?” Jesus asked them to explain why they were following Him. It was designed to take the conversation to the next level. They respond by asking, “Rabbi, where are you staying?” Did they want to know where Jesus was staying? I don’t see it that way. I think they were looking for an open door to connect with Jesus.

 Today people are asking the same questions. Many of them are asking Why am I here? What is my purpose? How did I get here? What happens after death? So how do seekers get around to asking these questions? By us asking questions. Having a spirit of curiosity is a powerful tool in building healthy relationships. Where are you from? Did you go to college? How long have you been living here? What are some of your hobbies? Are you married? These are just a few of the questions that your spirit of curiosity can lead you to.

 A friend of mine, who I am discipling, and I have been meeting in an Applebee’s for lunch. For several years we have grown to know a bartender there. He always serves our table and takes our orders for lunch. He is outgoing so I asked him some questions. What does he like about being a bartender? How long he had been a bartender? Where have you worked as a bartender? Those questions opened up a door for some very interesting future spiritual conversations.

 4)     He spent significant time with people.

 Jesus tells those disciples to come and you will see. So they went to where Jesus was staying and then something is recorded that is extremely important. “And they spent that day with him.” They spent the whole day with Jesus. No watching the clock, no deadlines to meet, no next place to go. Jesus just sat down and spent some time with these two disciples.

 People today are always in a hurry. The next place to go, the next project to work on, the next person to see. We can inadvertently make people feel like they are not important or that we are not reliable. No one wants to be the second thought or the second choice. Relationships take time. They need to be prioritized. We need to realize that relationships need a long runway to earn trust and credibility. 

I started meeting with Billy (not his real name) 9years ago. Billy was a Veteran and was suffering from PTSD. His wife and children were going to my church but he was not. He was not a Christian. He would come to Christmas and Easter services to appease his wife. One day I asked him to go for lunch which he did. We talked about the Chicago Bears, Ft. Wayne Komets, Chicago Cubs, and White Sox. That lunch turned into a weekly lunch. After a couple of years, he came to me and asked me if I would be willing to talk to him about his PTSD. He did not like his therapist and he had asked his Psychiatrist if he could meet with me instead. I told him, “I know nothing about PTSD but I would be happy to listen.” He said that would be fine. That was 9 years ago and last year he accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior. But that’s another story I’ll share on a different day.

 We don’t approach relationships like “Wanted Dead or Alive”. We approach them as people we notice while we live our lives and ask questions as we spend intentional time with them.