We’ve heard sermons about disciple-making.
We’ve read about it in Scripture.
We know Jesus commanded it.
But there’s one haunting question that keeps many followers of Jesus from actually making disciples:
Where do I start?
The best place to start is by understanding your style of disciple-making. Every follower of Jesus has a unique way of influencing others based on personality, spiritual gifts, and life experiences. While we may use all the styles at different times, most of us naturally lean toward one or two.
In this post, we’ll begin with the most common approach — the relational style of disciple-making.
The Strengths of the Relational Style of Disciple-Making
1. It encourages people to come together and discover Jesus.
Luke 5:29a – “Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house…”
After Levi decided to follow Jesus, the first thing he did was throw a banquet. He invited his friends — many who didn’t yet know Jesus — to meet Him. Jesus was the guest of honor, and the meal became a setting for transformation.
There’s something about eating together that breaks down barriers. Whether it’s over a meal, coffee, or a casual meetup, these neutral spaces create room for honest, heart-level conversations.
I often tell pastors to get out of their offices and meet people in public places. I know one pastor who goes to the same coffee shop every Thursday for two hours. He posts it on social media and invites anyone to stop by. His purpose? To meet people, listen to their stories, have spiritual conversations, and share the good news of Jesus. That’s what it looks like to be a relational disciple-maker.
2. It engages friends and family in spiritual conversations about Jesus.
Luke 5:29b – “…and a large crowd…”
Levi’s banquet was a party with a purpose. The crowd included tax collectors and others who were considered sinners. These were people the religious crowd avoided — but Jesus went right to them.
Today, people are still curious about faith. A recent LifeWay survey found that 51% of Americans are curious about why people are so devoted to their faith, and 60% of the religiously unaffiliated are open to hearing about faith and having spiritual conversations. That’s an open door waiting to be walked through.
One of our church elders felt led to start an “open table” in the park during the summer. Each week they ate together, then transitioned into a seeker-friendly Bible discussion. The table became a safe place for people to ask honest questions about faith — conversations that might never have happened inside a church building.
3. It enjoys a diverse group of people in spiritual conversations.
Luke 5:29c – “…a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them…”
What a diverse gathering! Tax collectors, sinners, Jesus’ followers, and even religious leaders — all together because of Jesus. The only thing they had in common was Him.
Relational disciple-makers love this kind of environment. They enjoy meeting new people, appreciate diversity, and can skillfully turn everyday conversations into spiritual ones. People energize them.
I once met a young man at Starbucks who had been visiting our church. He joined our church softball team, and over time we started talking about faith. As he shared about his life and work, he admitted he didn’t have much of a spiritual foundation. But he was drawn to the joy and friendship he saw among the guys on the team. I told him that what he saw in them came from their relationship with Jesus. He said, “I want to know more.” That single conversation led to weekly meetings and eventually a disciple-making relationship.
That’s the heart of the relational style — creating spaces where people can belong, believe, and begin to follow Jesus.
Looking Ahead
Next time, we’ll take an honest look at some of the weaknesses of the relational style of disciple-making — and how to grow through them.