So What is Discipleship Really?

What Is Discipleship Really?

Pastor Doug Beutler


A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were having a conversation about discipleship. She admitted she’s not a big fan of the word “discipleship” anymore. Why? Because it’s everywhere. The term has become something of a buzzword. Everyone’s talking about it. There are endless books, podcasts, curriculums, conferences - all centered around discipleship. Church leaders are prioritizing it. Resources are pouring into it. According to a recent Lifeway Research study, 63% of pastors identified “discipleship” as the top skill they most wanted to improve in. With all this talk, you’d think we’d be pretty clear on what discipleship is. But the question still lingers: Do we really know what discipleship is?

What Discipleship Is Not

Before we get into what discipleship truly is, let’s clear up a few common misconceptions. Discipleship is not:

  • A sermon

  • A worship service

  • A class

  • Coaching

  • Just giving information

  • Something you complete and move on from

Discipleship isn’t an event or a checklist. It’s not a product to consume. It’s a way of life.

What Discipleship Is

Discipleship is:

  • Relational

  • Biblically Focused

  • Walking Alongside / Mentoring

  • Transparent with Two-Way Communication

  • Reproducing / Multiplying Disciples

Let’s break each of these down.

1. Relational

At its core, discipleship is built on authentic, Christ-centered relationships. Real transformation happens in the context of genuine community - not programs.

Key Scriptures:

  • John 13:34-35 - “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

  • Hebrews 10:24-25 - “…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…”

In Practice:

  • Spend real time together.

  • Don’t treat people as projects.

  • Prioritize the person, not the process.

  • Be reliable.

    I’ve seen firsthand the damage caused when someone starts a discipleship relationship and then disappears. If you ghost people, they’ll feel like they were just another item on your to-do list. Reliability builds trust. Trust builds transformation.

2. Biblically Focused

Discipleship must be rooted in the Word of God. We aren’t just offering our opinions - we’re guiding others to the truth found in Scripture.

Key Scriptures:

  • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 - “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful…”

  • Psalm 119:105 - “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

In Practice:

  • Ask simple, helpful questions:

    • What’s the main point?

    • How does it apply to me?

    • What do I need to start or stop doing?

  • Teach people how to study the Bible.

    Share your favorite tools - I love using Enduring Word, a straightforward, free Bible commentary that helps anyone go deeper. Once I began sharing it with people I disciple, it opened up amazing conversations and encouraged independent Bible study.

3. Walking Alongside / Mentoring

Discipleship is life-on-life. It’s being present over time - walking with people, encouraging them, holding them accountable, and helping them apply the Gospel to real-life situations.

Key Scriptures:

  • 2 Timothy 2:2 - “Entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.”

  • Galatians 6:2 - “Carry each other’s burdens…”

In Practice:

  • Be patient.

  • Trust takes time to build.

  • Walk with people through real life.

  • Ask hard questions, not just surface-level stuff.

  • Be their cheerleader.

I’ve been walking with someone for 9 years. They came to Christ just two years ago. It took seven years of relational investment before we could even begin having deep spiritual conversations. That’s what I call a “long runway.” But you know what? It’s worth every second.

4. Transparency / Two-Way Communication

Discipleship thrives where trust and vulnerability meet. We grow together through open, honest conversations - where we can confess, correct, and encourage without fear.

Key Scriptures:

  • Ephesians 4:15 - “…speaking the truth in love…”

  • James 5:16 - “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another…”

In Practice:

  • Be real.

  • Admit your weaknesses.

  • Allow emotions into the conversation.

  • Find the balance: don’t glorify sin, but don’t pretend to be perfect either.

Being transparent is tricky. Overshare, and you risk losing credibility. Share nothing, and you seem fake. Let the Holy Spirit guide your honesty. People need to see a follower of Jesus who struggles, but still clings to grace.

5. Reproducing / Multiplying Disciples

This is the end goal: disciples who make disciples. The Great Commission wasn’t just for pastors—it’s for all believers.

Key Scriptures:

  • Matthew 28:19-20 - “Go and make disciples of all nations…”

  • Acts 1:8 - “…you will be my witnesses… to the ends of the earth.”

In Practice:

  • Invite people into the process.

  • Don’t disciple alone - multiply.

  • Celebrate disciple-makers publicly.

  • Set the expectation: we’re all called to make disciples.

This is where many churches get uncomfortable. What if people leave to start something new? What if programs suffer because leaders step away to disciple others? Yes, there’s a cost. But isn’t this exactly what Jesus commanded us to do?

So, What Is Discipleship Really?

Discipleship isn’t something you do - it’s who you are.

It’s not a side program. It’s not a church initiative.

It’s followers of Jesus helping others take their next step in following Jesus.

That’s what discipleship really is.

Let’s stop talking about discipleship and start living it out.

Let’s build relationships, stay rooted in Scripture, walk with people, be real, and multiply disciples for the glory of God.